Thrown in the Middle

Hi there.

I don't feel like telling you who I am, so you'll have to deal with actually reading my poor, unexciting blogs.

Today was very monotonous, as is every Saturday, generally. Woke up with a jolt.

I thought I was late for my walking time with my palsy's. I just happened to have woken up three minutes before my alarm clock was set to go off, which was nine by the way. We started walking at eleven.

Walking every Saturday is a habit I'm going to force upon myself and my friends as well. I'm trying to get into that wonderfully healthy lifestyle like everyone else. Or supposedly, you know, what with obesity on the rise and all that.


I totally blew my friends secret. She was living with her boyfriend and it was supposed to be all shush shush. My bad. I can't keep my mouth shut at times while I'm so focused on other things.

You know, It wouldn't be so bad if you know, people actually put trust into our decision making. It's like credit. You want it, they want you to want it, You have to earn it, but they won't give it to you no matter what. You have to slowly get yourself in debt to earn credit.


Ok, so that simile is a bit off, but you get my point. Hopefully.

The point is, I still blew it. She was going to eventually tell them anyways. I still feel bad though. Indescribably.


I'll get over myself.


So, I'm waiting for my wonderful Capital One credit card to get here. Credit, here I come!

Maybe.

I'm teaching Azuri, my other best friend, how to drive. She's doing very well. I just can't wait for her to get her license, yo.

My boyfriend is trying to get a job currently. Wishing him the best of luck and praying as well to the best God ever.

Also looking for a place to find.

The original plan was to take like, all of our friends, get a nice place, split the bill. That has failed because the original house we planned on getting, we can no longer get due to sertain circumstances which are ridiculous.

So, Naomi and I split it down to just her, me, my boyfriend, and hers as well. She has this trailer on her grandparents land that needs fixing up, but her boyfriend doesnt want it.

We were going to get it pretty cheap.

I was pretty angry at the situation due to other reasons, but I'm over it now.

I'm just stuck on the idea of that trailer being 200 a month. Good deal, right? It's so cheap, it would be something The Penguin (my Bf) and I could afford in case Naomi and her Bf left for a new place. I'm discussing it right now with him. I'm, however, caught between doing this idea, and living with Naomi, one of those dreams I've had. Slumber party forever, right? It's cool to live with your friends and all. More understanding, less fighting.

It's a very pulling idea. Perhaps I'm too desperate to leave my mothers house, to get out on my own, to leave behind social status and hypocrisy.

But I'm also afraid that it will somehow offend Naomi if I do so, ruin a plan of hers, a promise. An important one. Very.

I'm also afraid that I won't be able to fix that trailer up in time or have no money and just won't have the ability to do it. I have alot of confidence, but it wavers. It's as bad as....some random analogy.

But I don't think she will be. It's just my other, more paranoid me

Oh well. That's it for now. On the phone, bye. lol.