Yeah, it starts off sappy, I know.
I'm having sudden withdrawals, and I now want to see him. Texting...is not enough.
It's great having a boyfriend for many things, but if you actually turn out to have an actual love-love relationship, you have to deal with withdrawals. Well, at least I do. Anywho, he was thinking about the house today, and I was thinking about applying at lowes, but they do interviews, major eww.
Actually woke up at 5 today. Sorta. I also went to go get my lovely checks, work a little, and check out some mini-fridges! (Yes, this means one of my several life's dreams is about to be complete and true.
Talked to Naomi a bit, telling her how to be spiteful. I'm the queen of spite. I get it from my mother, sadly.
Azuri, Naomi, and I walked today, yay. It's becoming a nice trio healthy habit, It makes me happy. We talked about many things, among them being dreams of Naomi and I being pregnant.
That is a MOST horrifying thought. Ever.
Marriage is bad enough, but I'll tolerate it. Kids, however, no.
I'm pretty sure The Penguin wants some, some day. But....It just looks so PAINFUL! That, and I hate kids.
I guess it might take some time, if we have enough.
Azuri is SO lucky. All she has is dreams of being secret-y agents while getting married. HOW COOL IS THAT?!
Damn it.
I WANT THAT DREAM!.....
Ok, I have to go. The Penguin calls!
See ya!
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
Healthy Habits
Hi guys!
I'm sitting here, avoiding my new art project.
But on a good cost.
I've been looking up ways to save in our wonderful recession-like economy, and I came across some really good links for just living life in general!
http://www.chiff.com/home_life/teens-money.htm
This is mainly for teens, but it's pretty good and goes from explaining saving to investing and other things^^
http://zenhabits.net/
This is a blog on giving you tips on how to start your day, relieve stress, and do exercises. It's wonderful.
http://noedb.org/library/features/100_healthy_habits_you_should_start_in_college
This is for college people! It's really awesome. It goes from health, to safety, to financial tips, and more! It gives some really good things to start doing to help with long term things such as health and money.
http://www.modernforager.com/blog/2008/06/04/nutrition-101-the-one-rule-to-remember/
This is a link to tell you that organic foods are the best and to stay away from the packaged ones!
This may be hard for me to follow. I love fresh food, don't get me wrong. Tasty and all that. It's just I never want to eat it, until It's rotten, go figure.
As you can tell, I'mma try to be really healthy. I would LOVE to influence my friends, but I'm already having a hard time with them even exercising. So, patience. Baby steps.
When Naomi reads this, maybe she'll get interested. She did want to start cooking at her house instead of eating out.
Ok, so my wonderful current goals areeeee:::::
Maintain a seven and a half hour sleep schedule.
Pros: I have calculated exactly 7 and 1/2 because REM cycles last 90 minutes, according to studies. If you wake up during one, you feel confused and drowsy. If you wake up after one has just finished, you feel refreshed. So, I'm going to go to sleep, technically, at 9:30 and wake up at 5:00 am. It seems drastic I know, but ironically, I have a tendency to get everything done in the morning because there are no distractions at that time. No friends to talk to, everyone is asleep, I have time to do things without my mother constantly bugging me to do things she can do.
Cons: This is going to be FREAKING HARD. First, I can't talk as much to my friends. Lets face it, they were all owls in their previous life. I'm seriously addicted to my friends. For good reasons though! They entertain, they listen, they help me out, they giffs meh some LUV! And I just LOVE helping them out. Seriously. I get a tingle.
I happen to have this thing where if I don't talk to my friends, I feel like I'm missing out, and if I do 'miss out' I feel...wrong somehow. Out of loop. Falters my confidence. I'm weird, I know. Hopefully I can get out of that.
Another reason is my boyfriend is nocturnal as well and I get to talk to him less.
I'll just have to make a schedule!
Next goal!
Eat healthy and discard eating out as much as possible.
Pros: Ok, these are easy to name. Obviously, I feel better. Some people think they need to go on diets because they are fat and it makes them feel bad, physically and mentally.
Little do they realize, It's lack of exercise and healthy diets that make their circulatory/respiratory/cardiovascular health go to hell and never come back.
Eating healthier will boost the immune system, give me energy, and It'll be something new eating fresh and making recipes. Let me tell you, fast food gets old. I can still eat it, but I don't get overly excited on it. It's bland.
Cons: This one will be hard too. It will require me to buy the food then have will power to eat and/or make it. I'm thinking of buying me a small fridgerator. Keep all my healthy stuff in there, the fact that it will be in my vision will make me think about it constantly. Good reminder. And just so you know, I think phones and other tech stuff like that.....Is stupid for keeping track of things. Anyways....I'll have to make a list. I'll probably blog it under a new blog. Call it something. Something to do with awesome healthiness.
Also, this includes drinking water and juices only!
Next goal!
Maintaining an exercise schedule.
Pros: Lots of pros. Again, it makes you feel better in all aspects: mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
Hopefully, if I can get my sleeping habit down, I want to stretch and meditate in the mornings. Do some pushups too. It will wake me up and I'll have energy for the morning! Plus, I'll be buff and sexy! Oh yeah.
I've already started this habit, It's pretty easy. I'm going to my college gym and walking saturdays. I need to remind my peeps.
I want to learn some Tai Chi eventually. Yoga too, because boy ol boy is that some good stretching. You stretch muscles you never knew you had!
Cons: NONE!
Another goal:
Take vitamins!
Pros: You get those nutrients you generally don't because of time management and what you eat. This means I can get a guarantee of protein and such even if I miss a good meal!
Cons: Remembering to take them...>>.....Of course I don't forget things!
MORE GOALS!
Being financially smart and saving.
Pros: Obviously the pros are I have extra money to spend on necessary things and to have for emergencies. I also just got a credit card, so that helps.
I'm having a hard time deciding. I know I've already mentioned getting out of the house.
So, I'm wondering if I should save for college with a CD or for a house with a CD. I'm thinking college more. More plausible way to get a job to afford a house in other payments such as bills.
So, my plan here is to save 500 for emergency funds. Then to save up a thousand, and put a CD on it in another account. That way, I can be prepared.
Hopefully, I'm going to get a job that will earn me more hours. God knows that 'online surveys' and other scams and junk that just DO NOT WORK for people my age, is a load of bull.
Anyways, I'm praying on it!
Cons: It's gonna be hard. I'm gonna have to cut back MAJORLY! That means no more inpulse buying unless necessary. Living on a tighter budget because I want to put most of my paycheck into savings. And mainly, just avoid eating out. I'm trying to come up with some ideas so I can be cheap on eating when I'm at the college.
The last two goals:
Making better grades and spiritually growing.
Pros: Grades are better because they equal free money, better jobs, bigger social and economic status.
Spiritually, because I need to stay in contact with God to the best of my ability. He knows, as all christians do, that the time is nigh for his return. We aren't really sure, but the signs are there. It scares me because I may not be ready and I want to succeed in life. It's not that I'm attached to 'earthly materials', It's just I like that feeling of being ambitious and successful and God wanted us to live life to the fullest, right? Yet, this life is not going to last long. Makes it feel contradictory.
I need Him to guide me.
Cons: Let's face it: I'm with the best on procrastination. School is a long term success....I'm not very long term. I'm instant gratification. While you're in college, nobody think it's a big deal. They complain about prices, having to help you, they don't talk about it, about your life. After you graduate, everyone loves you. It was like that with highschool. Mom was so proud, yet I couldn't seem to smile back to her. Highschool was for to prove that I could make it out of my family. That was my motivation. You make a B or a C, people don't talk. If It's an A, you deserve an AWARD!...And then thats it.It's just not exciting to me. God molded me to the point of where social status impressions just don't bother or motivate me, It's sad to say that includes school. But I'll do it, because I know better. It's just not exciting.
I have a hard time, sad sad sad it is to say, to make a really good one on one talk with God. I'll pray everyday, every moment, but I feel like it's memo sticker note left on his door to read. Not an actual appointment. I don't go to church much and I read the bible every now and then. I'm not a good role model for Christianity technically, but I do what I can to inspire others. Anyways, I'll just have to do what I can and Make time.
I know, that is a LONG post. Whatever. ^_~ I'm off to go be awesome and healthy and whatnot! Let this inspire you to be awesome! See ya!
I'm sitting here, avoiding my new art project.
But on a good cost.
I've been looking up ways to save in our wonderful recession-like economy, and I came across some really good links for just living life in general!
http://www.chiff.com/home_life/teens-money.htm
This is mainly for teens, but it's pretty good and goes from explaining saving to investing and other things^^
http://zenhabits.net/
This is a blog on giving you tips on how to start your day, relieve stress, and do exercises. It's wonderful.
http://noedb.org/library/features/100_healthy_habits_you_should_start_in_college
This is for college people! It's really awesome. It goes from health, to safety, to financial tips, and more! It gives some really good things to start doing to help with long term things such as health and money.
http://www.modernforager.com/blog/2008/06/04/nutrition-101-the-one-rule-to-remember/
This is a link to tell you that organic foods are the best and to stay away from the packaged ones!
This may be hard for me to follow. I love fresh food, don't get me wrong. Tasty and all that. It's just I never want to eat it, until It's rotten, go figure.
As you can tell, I'mma try to be really healthy. I would LOVE to influence my friends, but I'm already having a hard time with them even exercising. So, patience. Baby steps.
When Naomi reads this, maybe she'll get interested. She did want to start cooking at her house instead of eating out.
Ok, so my wonderful current goals areeeee:::::
Maintain a seven and a half hour sleep schedule.
Pros: I have calculated exactly 7 and 1/2 because REM cycles last 90 minutes, according to studies. If you wake up during one, you feel confused and drowsy. If you wake up after one has just finished, you feel refreshed. So, I'm going to go to sleep, technically, at 9:30 and wake up at 5:00 am. It seems drastic I know, but ironically, I have a tendency to get everything done in the morning because there are no distractions at that time. No friends to talk to, everyone is asleep, I have time to do things without my mother constantly bugging me to do things she can do.
Cons: This is going to be FREAKING HARD. First, I can't talk as much to my friends. Lets face it, they were all owls in their previous life. I'm seriously addicted to my friends. For good reasons though! They entertain, they listen, they help me out, they giffs meh some LUV! And I just LOVE helping them out. Seriously. I get a tingle.
I happen to have this thing where if I don't talk to my friends, I feel like I'm missing out, and if I do 'miss out' I feel...wrong somehow. Out of loop. Falters my confidence. I'm weird, I know. Hopefully I can get out of that.
Another reason is my boyfriend is nocturnal as well and I get to talk to him less.
I'll just have to make a schedule!
Next goal!
Eat healthy and discard eating out as much as possible.
Pros: Ok, these are easy to name. Obviously, I feel better. Some people think they need to go on diets because they are fat and it makes them feel bad, physically and mentally.
Little do they realize, It's lack of exercise and healthy diets that make their circulatory/respiratory/cardiovascular health go to hell and never come back.
Eating healthier will boost the immune system, give me energy, and It'll be something new eating fresh and making recipes. Let me tell you, fast food gets old. I can still eat it, but I don't get overly excited on it. It's bland.
Cons: This one will be hard too. It will require me to buy the food then have will power to eat and/or make it. I'm thinking of buying me a small fridgerator. Keep all my healthy stuff in there, the fact that it will be in my vision will make me think about it constantly. Good reminder. And just so you know, I think phones and other tech stuff like that.....Is stupid for keeping track of things. Anyways....I'll have to make a list. I'll probably blog it under a new blog. Call it something. Something to do with awesome healthiness.
Also, this includes drinking water and juices only!
Next goal!
Maintaining an exercise schedule.
Pros: Lots of pros. Again, it makes you feel better in all aspects: mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
Hopefully, if I can get my sleeping habit down, I want to stretch and meditate in the mornings. Do some pushups too. It will wake me up and I'll have energy for the morning! Plus, I'll be buff and sexy! Oh yeah.
I've already started this habit, It's pretty easy. I'm going to my college gym and walking saturdays. I need to remind my peeps.
I want to learn some Tai Chi eventually. Yoga too, because boy ol boy is that some good stretching. You stretch muscles you never knew you had!
Cons: NONE!
Another goal:
Take vitamins!
Pros: You get those nutrients you generally don't because of time management and what you eat. This means I can get a guarantee of protein and such even if I miss a good meal!
Cons: Remembering to take them...>>.....Of course I don't forget things!
MORE GOALS!
Being financially smart and saving.
Pros: Obviously the pros are I have extra money to spend on necessary things and to have for emergencies. I also just got a credit card, so that helps.
I'm having a hard time deciding. I know I've already mentioned getting out of the house.
So, I'm wondering if I should save for college with a CD or for a house with a CD. I'm thinking college more. More plausible way to get a job to afford a house in other payments such as bills.
So, my plan here is to save 500 for emergency funds. Then to save up a thousand, and put a CD on it in another account. That way, I can be prepared.
Hopefully, I'm going to get a job that will earn me more hours. God knows that 'online surveys' and other scams and junk that just DO NOT WORK for people my age, is a load of bull.
Anyways, I'm praying on it!
Cons: It's gonna be hard. I'm gonna have to cut back MAJORLY! That means no more inpulse buying unless necessary. Living on a tighter budget because I want to put most of my paycheck into savings. And mainly, just avoid eating out. I'm trying to come up with some ideas so I can be cheap on eating when I'm at the college.
The last two goals:
Making better grades and spiritually growing.
Pros: Grades are better because they equal free money, better jobs, bigger social and economic status.
Spiritually, because I need to stay in contact with God to the best of my ability. He knows, as all christians do, that the time is nigh for his return. We aren't really sure, but the signs are there. It scares me because I may not be ready and I want to succeed in life. It's not that I'm attached to 'earthly materials', It's just I like that feeling of being ambitious and successful and God wanted us to live life to the fullest, right? Yet, this life is not going to last long. Makes it feel contradictory.
I need Him to guide me.
Cons: Let's face it: I'm with the best on procrastination. School is a long term success....I'm not very long term. I'm instant gratification. While you're in college, nobody think it's a big deal. They complain about prices, having to help you, they don't talk about it, about your life. After you graduate, everyone loves you. It was like that with highschool. Mom was so proud, yet I couldn't seem to smile back to her. Highschool was for to prove that I could make it out of my family. That was my motivation. You make a B or a C, people don't talk. If It's an A, you deserve an AWARD!...And then thats it.It's just not exciting to me. God molded me to the point of where social status impressions just don't bother or motivate me, It's sad to say that includes school. But I'll do it, because I know better. It's just not exciting.
I have a hard time, sad sad sad it is to say, to make a really good one on one talk with God. I'll pray everyday, every moment, but I feel like it's memo sticker note left on his door to read. Not an actual appointment. I don't go to church much and I read the bible every now and then. I'm not a good role model for Christianity technically, but I do what I can to inspire others. Anyways, I'll just have to do what I can and Make time.
I know, that is a LONG post. Whatever. ^_~ I'm off to go be awesome and healthy and whatnot! Let this inspire you to be awesome! See ya!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Skipping School. It's not THAT big of a deal.
Hiya.
So I went to composition class today, and afterwards, said, "Screw it."
I didn't have my art homework done. I was farrrr too sleepy, which is something because I never sleep for long periods of time in a strange environment.
Speaking of art, I got a freaking 65 on my self-portrait. Stupid teacher. He only gave us TWO DAYS!.....And I am NOT wasting my gas to go up there on non-school days.
My friend is having internal bleeding AGAIN. I hope she's fine.
So, back to skipping, Naomi and I agreed upon the evil deed.
Then we ate DQ.
We hung out at Azuri's house, all the while lying to my mother about how I was at school and such and trying to hide we even skipped at all. We just want to relax. Stupid expectations.
But Naomi and Azuri decided to bust out laughing at one point while I was blatantly lying to my mother. The Penguin and I just gave them these strong stares of, "What the hell, man?"
Speaking of the Penguin, he elbowed me in the face once and hit me with his xbox controller. All on accident of course. I think I made him feel bad though. I wasn't actually mad at the pain, I was mad that the frame of my glasses bent and I had to fix them. I am completely OCD about them being straight.
Of course, being the softy paranoid person I am, I felt bad about making him feel bad, so I tried to mentally tell him it was ok by staring him down really hard.
Communicating is hard sometimes.
I'm not sure it worked.
But, since I felt a pressing need to explain (As all softies do), I was glad for the excuse of bringing him his books.
We came to an understanding.
Went to Naomi's house. Did most of my art hw there. I plan on touching it up tommorow after I visit The Penguin. Also have to do more art homework. I thank God I'm not working much right now.
As for this day all in all, It's pretty ok. Caught between stress and relaxation. Trying to skip and not get caught it not fun. But being with my friends is. So it balances out in the end.
As for moving out, I'm still not sure of it. Things still look iffy.
Going to lowes tommorow. I'm going to get an interview for my boyfriend. I sigh at this. It's frustrating not to be able to help him in a way he wants most. And he wants a job, which is hard to come by apparently in these days filled with recession.
Anyways, I yawn. Time to go.
See ya. (This time, I'm not on a phone!)
So I went to composition class today, and afterwards, said, "Screw it."
I didn't have my art homework done. I was farrrr too sleepy, which is something because I never sleep for long periods of time in a strange environment.
Speaking of art, I got a freaking 65 on my self-portrait. Stupid teacher. He only gave us TWO DAYS!.....And I am NOT wasting my gas to go up there on non-school days.
My friend is having internal bleeding AGAIN. I hope she's fine.
So, back to skipping, Naomi and I agreed upon the evil deed.
Then we ate DQ.
We hung out at Azuri's house, all the while lying to my mother about how I was at school and such and trying to hide we even skipped at all. We just want to relax. Stupid expectations.
But Naomi and Azuri decided to bust out laughing at one point while I was blatantly lying to my mother. The Penguin and I just gave them these strong stares of, "What the hell, man?"
Speaking of the Penguin, he elbowed me in the face once and hit me with his xbox controller. All on accident of course. I think I made him feel bad though. I wasn't actually mad at the pain, I was mad that the frame of my glasses bent and I had to fix them. I am completely OCD about them being straight.
Of course, being the softy paranoid person I am, I felt bad about making him feel bad, so I tried to mentally tell him it was ok by staring him down really hard.
Communicating is hard sometimes.
I'm not sure it worked.
But, since I felt a pressing need to explain (As all softies do), I was glad for the excuse of bringing him his books.
We came to an understanding.
Went to Naomi's house. Did most of my art hw there. I plan on touching it up tommorow after I visit The Penguin. Also have to do more art homework. I thank God I'm not working much right now.
As for this day all in all, It's pretty ok. Caught between stress and relaxation. Trying to skip and not get caught it not fun. But being with my friends is. So it balances out in the end.
As for moving out, I'm still not sure of it. Things still look iffy.
Going to lowes tommorow. I'm going to get an interview for my boyfriend. I sigh at this. It's frustrating not to be able to help him in a way he wants most. And he wants a job, which is hard to come by apparently in these days filled with recession.
Anyways, I yawn. Time to go.
See ya. (This time, I'm not on a phone!)
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Moving out issues and confidence
Well, more updates on my wonderful. After threatening me in several ways today, my mother decided to talk to me calmly after I got off work. I can see her points on why I should not move out such as recession and financial stability, virginity (not) and other things.
But I still want to. This is beyond her and our fights. Don't get me wrong, that's a part of it. Definitely.
But, I want to try to be on my own. Feel that financial freedom. I do agree that it's not going to be fantastic, but I have pride in independence and I love my friends.
I just need to save up for a few months, get price negotiations for a place I have my eyes set on. Help Naomi find a gooooood rockin house with a yard, get some people to live with, and then fix up the house a bit. Also avoid my mother for a bit.
Anyways, on the phone again. So darn attached to The Penguin, and he wants attention so I have to go. See ya!
But I still want to. This is beyond her and our fights. Don't get me wrong, that's a part of it. Definitely.
But, I want to try to be on my own. Feel that financial freedom. I do agree that it's not going to be fantastic, but I have pride in independence and I love my friends.
I just need to save up for a few months, get price negotiations for a place I have my eyes set on. Help Naomi find a gooooood rockin house with a yard, get some people to live with, and then fix up the house a bit. Also avoid my mother for a bit.
Anyways, on the phone again. So darn attached to The Penguin, and he wants attention so I have to go. See ya!
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Thrown in the Middle
Hi there.
I don't feel like telling you who I am, so you'll have to deal with actually reading my poor, unexciting blogs.
Today was very monotonous, as is every Saturday, generally. Woke up with a jolt.
I thought I was late for my walking time with my palsy's. I just happened to have woken up three minutes before my alarm clock was set to go off, which was nine by the way. We started walking at eleven.
Walking every Saturday is a habit I'm going to force upon myself and my friends as well. I'm trying to get into that wonderfully healthy lifestyle like everyone else. Or supposedly, you know, what with obesity on the rise and all that.
I totally blew my friends secret. She was living with her boyfriend and it was supposed to be all shush shush. My bad. I can't keep my mouth shut at times while I'm so focused on other things.
You know, It wouldn't be so bad if you know, people actually put trust into our decision making. It's like credit. You want it, they want you to want it, You have to earn it, but they won't give it to you no matter what. You have to slowly get yourself in debt to earn credit.
Ok, so that simile is a bit off, but you get my point. Hopefully.
The point is, I still blew it. She was going to eventually tell them anyways. I still feel bad though. Indescribably.
I'll get over myself.
So, I'm waiting for my wonderful Capital One credit card to get here. Credit, here I come!
Maybe.
I'm teaching Azuri, my other best friend, how to drive. She's doing very well. I just can't wait for her to get her license, yo.
My boyfriend is trying to get a job currently. Wishing him the best of luck and praying as well to the best God ever.
Also looking for a place to find.
The original plan was to take like, all of our friends, get a nice place, split the bill. That has failed because the original house we planned on getting, we can no longer get due to sertain circumstances which are ridiculous.
So, Naomi and I split it down to just her, me, my boyfriend, and hers as well. She has this trailer on her grandparents land that needs fixing up, but her boyfriend doesnt want it.
We were going to get it pretty cheap.
I was pretty angry at the situation due to other reasons, but I'm over it now.
I'm just stuck on the idea of that trailer being 200 a month. Good deal, right? It's so cheap, it would be something The Penguin (my Bf) and I could afford in case Naomi and her Bf left for a new place. I'm discussing it right now with him. I'm, however, caught between doing this idea, and living with Naomi, one of those dreams I've had. Slumber party forever, right? It's cool to live with your friends and all. More understanding, less fighting.
It's a very pulling idea. Perhaps I'm too desperate to leave my mothers house, to get out on my own, to leave behind social status and hypocrisy.
But I'm also afraid that it will somehow offend Naomi if I do so, ruin a plan of hers, a promise. An important one. Very.
I'm also afraid that I won't be able to fix that trailer up in time or have no money and just won't have the ability to do it. I have alot of confidence, but it wavers. It's as bad as....some random analogy.
But I don't think she will be. It's just my other, more paranoid me
Oh well. That's it for now. On the phone, bye. lol.
I don't feel like telling you who I am, so you'll have to deal with actually reading my poor, unexciting blogs.
Today was very monotonous, as is every Saturday, generally. Woke up with a jolt.
I thought I was late for my walking time with my palsy's. I just happened to have woken up three minutes before my alarm clock was set to go off, which was nine by the way. We started walking at eleven.
Walking every Saturday is a habit I'm going to force upon myself and my friends as well. I'm trying to get into that wonderfully healthy lifestyle like everyone else. Or supposedly, you know, what with obesity on the rise and all that.
I totally blew my friends secret. She was living with her boyfriend and it was supposed to be all shush shush. My bad. I can't keep my mouth shut at times while I'm so focused on other things.
You know, It wouldn't be so bad if you know, people actually put trust into our decision making. It's like credit. You want it, they want you to want it, You have to earn it, but they won't give it to you no matter what. You have to slowly get yourself in debt to earn credit.
Ok, so that simile is a bit off, but you get my point. Hopefully.
The point is, I still blew it. She was going to eventually tell them anyways. I still feel bad though. Indescribably.
I'll get over myself.
So, I'm waiting for my wonderful Capital One credit card to get here. Credit, here I come!
Maybe.
I'm teaching Azuri, my other best friend, how to drive. She's doing very well. I just can't wait for her to get her license, yo.
My boyfriend is trying to get a job currently. Wishing him the best of luck and praying as well to the best God ever.
Also looking for a place to find.
The original plan was to take like, all of our friends, get a nice place, split the bill. That has failed because the original house we planned on getting, we can no longer get due to sertain circumstances which are ridiculous.
So, Naomi and I split it down to just her, me, my boyfriend, and hers as well. She has this trailer on her grandparents land that needs fixing up, but her boyfriend doesnt want it.
We were going to get it pretty cheap.
I was pretty angry at the situation due to other reasons, but I'm over it now.
I'm just stuck on the idea of that trailer being 200 a month. Good deal, right? It's so cheap, it would be something The Penguin (my Bf) and I could afford in case Naomi and her Bf left for a new place. I'm discussing it right now with him. I'm, however, caught between doing this idea, and living with Naomi, one of those dreams I've had. Slumber party forever, right? It's cool to live with your friends and all. More understanding, less fighting.
It's a very pulling idea. Perhaps I'm too desperate to leave my mothers house, to get out on my own, to leave behind social status and hypocrisy.
But I'm also afraid that it will somehow offend Naomi if I do so, ruin a plan of hers, a promise. An important one. Very.
I'm also afraid that I won't be able to fix that trailer up in time or have no money and just won't have the ability to do it. I have alot of confidence, but it wavers. It's as bad as....some random analogy.
But I don't think she will be. It's just my other, more paranoid me
Oh well. That's it for now. On the phone, bye. lol.
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