A little better...

Back again.


I feel a little better today. Like the rock on my chest is a bit smaller than yesterday.

My boyfriend and I finally made some agreements. He does his work, I don't mention anything about it. We'll see how long that will last. And now we only have to save up 500 dollars for moving in.

Well, thats good and all, but I still feel stress from past events, and I cant help but hold a grudge. I wish I could just make it go away, but everytime I look at my boyfriend, its like....Why? Why didn't you do this? Why do you complain about this? Why did you buy that instead of this? And what does this matter? I cant be a little happy person anymore when I look at him. Or at least a blank slate in my mind.

In other good news though, I may be getting my second job. More money, less stress I think.

I have all my stuff turned in for school.

I'm reading a horrible book right now called witches something or another. Not that great.

I totally need time to meditate or sleep or...turn off my cell phone or something....The only time I look forward to in the day now is my shower. The nice peaceful, warm shower. I could stay in there forever...if the water didnt go cold first...

Oh well, im going to look up articles for getting rid of grudges now, so bye bye.